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| I have emerged after a long silence. This has been one heck of a year and I just haven't had the energy or mindset to write. A year ago in June my life changed in a big way, a year ago is when all the madness started.
In the last year:
I entered into a relationship, engagement and marriage
I planned said marriage in three months from overseas
I put that wedding together in a week
I said 4 hard goodbyes to 4 good friends
I crossed the Pacific 4 times
I taught over 35 children
I moved apartments
I survived 20 ulcers
It's been a good year and a hard year. Actually when pressed I really don't remember most of it. I let a lot of things go (ie friendships, discipline and passion, spiritual relationship, my waist line) It's hard to reconnect with myself after I've lost myself in busyness and stress. It's hard to draw near to God and drink in his grace when I have been so burnt out and dry. All of the sudden I have emerged a year later from my cocoon of change a little lost, a little fat and a lot married.
(marriage is great by the way, I highly suggest)
I seem to have lost direction in my life. Being far from God I have lost sight of my passion for his glory and service to Him. Being burnt out I have baked in the sun of indifference for so long. The things that once defined me have changed and I need to rediscover myself and who I am in Christ and as a citizen of this world. These short term goals of weddings, moving, travel, and surviving have choked out any long term goals I once had.
So here's to long term goals. Over the next few days, nay weeks I will try to pray and focus more on where the Lord leadeth me and my new family (family as in Rick and I). Please, if you think on it, pray for me as well. I am in serious need to watering and in serious need of growing. I plan on spending less time on frivolous things and more time of productive things, like thinking, reading, writing and growing my herb garden.
I plan on returning to the world of writing and blogging. Keep yer eyes peeled.
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| Here in Big Peace Park
It's lively for so late at night
Sittin here scribbling by tall lamp light
Here in Big Peace Park
Couples dancing among the trees
Old masters practicin their Tai Chi
(It's good for you, you know
that's what they say anyhow)
Here in Big Peace Park
A miracle, a breeze
cutting through the humidity
Here in Big Peace Park
Walkers, joggers, business attire
Laughter over games
The quiet click of croquet
Here in Big Peace Park
The light of life reflects in the night sky
Crickets muffle the traffic passing by
Here in Big Peace Park
Amongst the clamor of the day my heart finds quiet
Somehow this all feels so right
Asia is lovely this time of night
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| For some months now I have been having stomach problems. I started with some unflattering post meal time belching which turned into post meal time puking. I thought it was the stress of international travel+ two week wedding+ moving apartments. But as time went on and I got sicker and sicker my loving husband insisted I go to the doctor.
To make a long two week ordeal short I heard the words I was so used to hearing five years ago during my last gastrointestinal episode... "I don't know what's wrong with you..." This time it was in Chinese, but it still had that same dampening effect on my spirit. I was encouraged to get an endoscopy to get an inside look at the problem within. Now I have had three endoscopies half a decade ago, so I wasn't too worried about the procedure. An endoscope is in plain language shoving a three foot pipe with a camera attached down your throat into your innards.
Taiwan has National Health Care which makes procedures like the endoscope free, opposed to the thousand dollars you would have to wrangle out of the insurance companies and out of your own pocket. However in all its freeness and glory you lose certain luxuries like private waiting rooms and anesthesia. The latter of which bothered me most.
After an hour of take-a-number-and-wait nightmare I was asked to swallow a numbing agent and was given a shot as I was sitting in a room of thirty people doing the same thing. Then I was ushered into a room much like a broom closet and was given a local anesthesia and another shot. Then here came the three foot pipe sans camera. As the ushered the foreign object down my throat I was very much conscious and very much aware. The pipe just kept going and going and going. Through ten minutes of intense discomfort and near pain I winced and prayed. Finally they removed the pipe and ushered me into another room to show me the results.
Turns out that I have between 10-20 small gastric and small intestine ulcers. Also my esophagus is malfunctioning and not closing properly at the end. The cause is still unknown and I will hopefully know in a couple of weeks. So if you could keep me in your prayers that would be great.
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| These past few months since I have blogged, I planned a wedding, been wed, flown over the Pacific...twice, moved houses and taken on a new class at school. Obviously I have lots to blog about and I hope to write about most of it, but this post is about the latter.
Upon returning to Taiwan from my wedding trip to the states I was informed that due to a series of unfortunate events I would have to take on a new class of 2nd graders. I also was informed of this situation the day the class resumed...oh goodie. One of unfortunate events was that the previous teacher was fired due to his ability to well, teach...so in all intensive purposes this class was broken. No strong discipline or control and scattered knowledge of the previous semester's material. Just the challenge I wanted after surviving prior wedding planning months. I was also bitter because this class cut into my cushy office work time. Lets face it I would rather pound around on a keyboard than teach and mold 8 rowdy 8 year olds.
So my attitude the last several weeks while teaching has not been the greatest, yet I have endured for its not the children's fault.
But yesterday after class one of the girls hung around while I was hanging starfish on our 'under the sea' vocabulary wall. And this is the conversation that occurred:
"I like your teach," she said.
"Oh really?" I replied.
"Yes, I like your teach because you make class so fun."
"What is fun?"
"I like to play the games and do the art. I can understand English more good."
"Thats great!"
"Yes, and you are so pretty so I like your teach."
True conversation, ok I may have added the "you are so pretty part" but I know she was thinking it. This simple three minute conversation reminded me not to be bitter because I HAVE to teach, but to be blessed because I GET to.
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